Swap It To Me

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This is the closest I have come to Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory.

I celebrated my birthday in the Spring by having a nail polish swap. I’m posting in the Summer because I am not big on The Internet knowing when to flood my Facebook wall with birthday messages. Most are either unoriginal (“Happy birthday!”) or impersonal (“HBD.”) How dare you! You come back here and spell the entire words out!!

Lookit: you can broadcast your actual birth date on social media or you can tell people about it individually and strategically get a present every day of the year. *taps temple*

Swaps are a fun way to hang out with friends and shop for free. The Nailluminati hold such meetings regularly (possibly underground and while wearing feathered masks) to purge themselves of their “Ikea Helmers” full of “Untrieds”. They buy giant filing cabinets, fill them with colors and then give them away! Such is the extravagant lifestyle of the members of that secret society.

The best part about this get-together was my haul! Besides crossing a bunch of colors off my Palette List (navy, slate, pink glitter) I scored a bottle of Deborah Lippmann and got to try the legendary Chanel, two high-end brands. Also got to see what the fuss is about with brands I keep passing on in the drug store.

This About Sums It Up: Swaps are good for saving money, bonding with friends, meeting new people, enhancing your stash, and drinking wine in broad daylight.

Nailluminati Status: Secret Society Meeting Level achieved.

Have you ever snagged a bottle before anyone could see it at a swap? Let’s dish in the comments!

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About Abbi Crutchfield

Abbi Crutchfield is a comedian and host of You Can Do Better on truTV. She has been featured on NBC, VH1, CollegeHumor and in national commercials. She is a contributor to Someecards, and her jokes are listed among the Best Tweets of the Year by Huffington Post Comedy. She is a UCB alum and produces the popular stand-up hour The Living Room Show weekly in Brooklyn.
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4 Responses to Swap It To Me

  1. michellem75 says:

    Fun way to spend a birthday. Though us nail illuminati hold our cats in our arms, Dr Evil style, during those underground meetings. Because Illuminati members are also crazy cat ladies, plotting to take over the world, one manicured finger at a time.

  2. Fun way to spend a birthday. You know, when the Nail Illuminati meet in our underground lair, we actually hold our kitties, Dr. Evil-style, in our arms. Because the Illuminati are all crazy cat ladies, plotting to take over the world, one manicured finger at a time.

  3. Pingback: Diana Broussard DB Creme | Abbi Crutchfield

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